Your Top Class Guide to Improving as a Player
By Eddie Moans, Coach of Sully Plastics 3rd XV
Hi Readers.
Can you believe it? Another season is upon us already. I've had bagfuls of letters from amateur players asking how they can improve their fitness for the coming season. So I've decided to ignore these and focus on how you can improve your team's tactical play (if you're not fit for the season now then you should have got off your ass earlier).
Firstly, never forget rugby is a simple game and can be improved by simple things. The aim of the game is simply to score more than the opposition. The end. Really, that's all it is. I've outlined a few steps below, which, if you follow to the letter, should help you achieve winning ways:
- Score as many penalties, tries, conversions and drop goals as you can. This increases your chances of winning. If you can get over that try line - take it! You may regret passing on that chance later.
- Stop the opposition from scoring. It may come as a surprise to many (just look at Northern Hemisphere coaches on summer tours down south), but your odds of success are in direct proportion to the number of points you concede. The fewer they score the better the chance you have. If you play for a team that has the ability to vary tactics then consider blending this precious piece of advice with my previous point (score as many as you can), if you manage both then you are almost certain to be drinking victory beers in the evening!
- Inspiration. Someone once said: "Genius is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration." Clever comment - although the bright spark that said it obviously failed to perspire enough and get their named recorded for prosperity. That 10% can mean everything. You need to have some kind of 'moment' before you take the field. Something you can draw on and use when the going gets tough. My advice is to screen some movie on match morning in the clubhouse and insist your team is present making mental notes. I find Rocky IV, The Karate Kid and Independence Day (the President's moving speech before the final battle) never fails to get me pumped up and ready to take on the world.
- Take performance-enhancing drugs. Amateur players are never tested. Go on.
- Stop watching professional rugby, especially Super 12. Anyone who plays rugby on a parks pitch in their spare time should ignore anything they see on television. If you hold on to the ball for a fraction of what the Crusaders or ACT do, you will get penalised. Similarly, doing Olympic style dives over the top of rucks will, unlike first class rugby, be penalised as a failure to stay on your feet. Finally, despite what the professional referees seem to indicate, forward passes are still illegal. Watching professional rugby will only cloud your judgement and decision making on the field.
- Don't even play at all. Stand on the sideline, beer in hand, and be a smug git criticising everyone else.
Well that's it for now. Follow the above points (except maybe the last one) and you should be getting invited to coach the New Zealand backline in no time.
Yours in rugby,
Eddie Moans