Hello, I’m an 8cm plastic model of ex-England centre Will Carling
By An 8cm Plastic Model of Ex-England Centre Will Carling
Hello, I’m an 8cm plastic model of Ex-England centre Will Carling. I’m not actually the real Will Carling, you know, the one who used to be centre for England. I’m just a plastic reproduction of him.
People come up to me all the time and say: ‘Aren’t you Will Carling, the ex-England centre and captain?’ But I point out to them that I’m not in fact Will Carling, just a plastic reproduction of him.
You can see from my picture that I cut quite a dashing figure can’t you? I look splendid in my nice, white English rugby kit. Can you see I am wearing the English kit of 1995? That is because I was made during the height of the real Will Carling’s fame and that was the kit they were wearing when they commissioned me. Whereas Will was English, I am in fact from China. At least that is what they tell me. Apparently it is written underneath the green base I stand upon. But as I am only a plastic model and have no powers of movement or motion, I have to rely on what others tell me. Although I may be Chinese by birth, I am as proud an Englishman, or rather plastic model of an Englishman, as can be. How could I not be? Of all the things I cold have been moulded into, of all the people I could have been made to replicate, I was made into an 8cm plastic model of ex-England centre Will Carling.
I take it you know all about Will? Will was the most successful captain in English rugby history. He captained England on 59 occasions and won on 75% of those occasions. Although he never won a World Cup, he took his 1991 side all the way to the final. He led the side to three grand slams and was England’s youngest ever captain at twenty-two. He also would have captained the British Lions but he got in a fight with Mr. Blobby, a well-loved TV entertainment figure in the UK. Apparently fighting popular children’s TV characters is not the done thing for rugby players hoping to captain famous rugby teams. You don’t hear much about Mr. Blobby now do you?
Will also recorded a wonderful rendition of a Negro spiritual song called ‘Swing Low Sweet Chariot’ in 1991 with his English teammates. It was an amazing piece of music. Will and his team basically took an old folk song and reinvigorated it with a modern dance beat and computer effects. They even added some great new lyrics: ‘Run, run, run with the ball, you gotta run, run with the ball’. Which says all you need to know about rugby really.
Sometimes I feel very proud of my achievements, but then I remember I’m not Will Carling, I’m just an 8cm plastic model of him.
I feel very honoured to be asked to be a regular contributor to The East Terrace. You will find me on here often, giving my views on the latest rugby happenings. In fact, I would love it if you could contact me with any questions or fan mail you may have. I may well answer them at some point in the future. Why not drop me a line at 8cmWill@theeastterrace.com?
So, until the next time, happy rugby watching and playing. I’d join you for a game, but then I’m only 8cm high and I have no powers of motion or movement as I’m not actually really a rugby player, just a plastic reproduction of one. A good one, though.